Thursday, May 22, 2008

So very gracious...

Gracious; 1.having or showing kindness, courtesy, charm etc. 2.compassionate 3.polite to supposed inferiors

Yesterday Jessicas sixth grade class celebrated the end of testing with a trip to the local park. I went along and I am extremely glad that I did. I saw something yesterday that really awed me. It was a simple gesture made out of pure selflessness and words can not express how proud I am of my daughter.

As everyone knows sixth grade girls can be brutal. One day the girls are friends. The next day they back stab, spread rumors and treat each other with utter disrespect. Then the day after that they are friends again. It is an especially hard time for Jessica who is super sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others. Well this year has been particularly hard on Jessica. She has this friend/enemy who has gone out of her way to make Jessica miserable. After months of friendship and abuse Jessica finally decided that she was no longer going to deal with this girl. Jessica was not going to be this girls friend or enemy any longer. Jessica was determined to detach herself from the situation. Of course this frienemy did not like that. The girl spread rumors, told lies and was just plain mean. It really hurt Jessica, but she ignored it.

Yesterday we were at the picnic. Everyone was sitting at the picnic tables eating lunch. Jessica's frienemy ended up all alone. She was standing by the swing set looking pretty miserable. I thought it was her just desserts. Maybe next time this girl would think twice before she was mean to someone. After a few minutes Jessica noticed the girl. I don't know what I expected Jessica to do, but her actions definitely surprised me. Jessica said nobody should feel left out and alone and she invited the girl to sit at our table.

I think that must of been the most gracious gesture I have ever seen. I would love to say I taught her that, but we all know I would of left miss frienemy standing there. I am so proud of Jessica. She honestly has the sweetest spirit in this world.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Have you ever noticed that when a family has a baby they all start using words that no one has ever heard before? Our baby Faith is two and a half. She is a very verbal baby and I thought I would translate just a few of our new family words...

food or eat = yummies (when ever she is hungry she asks for yummies).

Love = lub

blip blops = flip flops (even my Dad says blip blops now)

ga-raw = straw (it took forever to figure that one out)

ninny = pacifier

jecca = jessica

gum- gum = gum

t-bee = t.v.

kissies = kisses

So if you come to our house we will immediatly ask you to take your blip-blops off. Jecca will offer you some yummies and a drink with a ga-raw in it. We will probably need you to help us find the ninny. After that we will all sit down chew some gum-gum and watch t-bee. At the end of the night we will give you kissies good bye and tell you how much we lub you.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Poor Daddy....

The other day Dale was walking through the living room when out of nowhere a little baby voice said; "I lub you Daddy!" His chest just puffed up. He was so happy. He replied; "I love you baby!" Then she said "I lub Mommy more!"

Too young to be that smart....

The other day Megan came home from school with an eraser. I asked her where she got the eraser and she told me Conner gave it to her. I asked why Conner gave her the eraser and she just calmly replied "because I told him to and boys always do what I tell them to."

I made her return the eraser....

Its true...

A few months ago my eleven year old daughter shouted "The only way to get attention in this house is if your bad"! I immediatly denied her words and even gave her a lecture on being a little selfish and self absorbed.

As time went on that little sentence would not leave my mind. I told myself not to let it get to me. She was just being dramatic. I am a good parent. I always praise my children. I spend time with them. I take them places. I teach them things. God knows I have read a hundred parenting books to keep on top of things. What she said could not possibly be true. Then why was it bugging me so much?

I have five children. Ashley (18) was (and still is) pure hell as a teenager. We went through so much with her. Debra (13) is your typical teenage girl. She'll do it if she can. I just have to make sure she can't. Jessica (the 11 year old we are talking about) has always been the sweetest thing in the world. She does the right thing because she can't stand for someone to get mad at her. Megan (7) is the mouthiest child I have ever met. She is strongwilled and single minded. If she sets her mind to something; then consider it done. Then we have Faith (2). She is our spoiled, funny handful of a baby.

Now just in writing that parpgaraph I have proven Jessicas point. With so many strong agressive personalities swirling around her Jessica is often left out. Now don't get me wrong; I don't forget to feed her or anything. I just sometimes forget that just because she is not screaming for attention she still needs and deserves it.

It is such a hurtful feeling as a parent to know that you have been treating your child unfairly. I am glad (and sad) she finally got mad enough to say something. I know there is nothing I can do to change the past and sitting around feeling guilty is not going to fix anything. I will take this experience and learn from it. I will make sure to spend a little time each day talking to and appreciating her.

From now on I will make sure that being good gets atleast as much attention as being bad....