Whos in charge here?

Before I had children I, like everyone else, would look down my nose at some poor parents misbehaving child and say; "my kids will never do that". And for the first three children, I was right. Sure they went through the terrible twos and there were many trying days, but for the most part I was raising respectful, well behaved children. They didn't talk back. They did what I said, when I said . They were so good in fact, I decided to have another one.

On October 12, 2000 we welcomed Megan Nicole into our lives. From the very moment of her birth she did the unexpected. You see, we were expecting a boy. We had been told we were having a boy. We had a blue nursery. We had all blue clothes. We already had three daughters. We were expecting a boy....

I've never been one to sleep with an infant. Not that I think its wrong. I'm just too nervous. All the other girls were just fine sleeping in their bassinets. Not Megan. Not only did she have to sleep with me. She had to sleep on me. For the first two months of her life, every night, she and I were like one. Like one sweaty, uncomfortable blob....

Now I must be honest. Megan was a good baby. She ate really well, and with the exception of the first two months, she was fine to be left alone. She was happy and playful. She learned quickly and slept on a good schedule. She did this for years. Then she turned two.....

Now I am not a person who curses on a regular basis. But even when I do curse there are certian words I don't say, and certianly words I would never say around my girls. So imagine my suprise when little Megan turned into a potty mouth. It all started at lunch one day. We were sitting together eating sandwiches, having a great time. All of a sudden Megan looks me right in the eye and says b****! I was sure I had heard her wrong so I asked her to say it agian. B**** she said plain as day. I immediatly let her know that was bad and never to say it again. Well not only did she say it again, she said it often. Every time she got mad she would scream b****. She said it at home, at the mall, in restaraunts. The looks people would give us when she said that were just awful. They looked at us as if we had taught her that. They would shake their heads and I know they were saying "my kids will never act like that". We tried everything to make her stop, and I do mean everything. Finally, she stopped saying it, when we ignored her. But it seemed for every bad habit we broke, she found a new one. For the next three years we dealt with; hitting, biting, screaming fits and the one I thought was worst of all; spitting....

Now Megan is five soon to be six. She is the most stubborn person I have ever met in my life. She still has a really bad temper, and if the child thinks it, the child says it. Its not so much that she says things, its the way she says them. She says it like she is the boss and everybody better listen. We have always called her princess and I think she honestly believes she is one. Now she has come a long way. She no longer cusses or spits. She seldom hits. She loves to cuddle and read books. Her worst days are when her sisters are able to do things that she just can't phsically do right now (like crochet or type). I've also realized that the more we feed into her temper tantrums, the more she has them. Which I know seems like common sence but believe me when I tell you how hard it is to ignore her.

I would like to point out that megan has gone to school for two years now. She has never once been bad in class. Her teachers adore her and her class mates love her. Her teachers have said she is a leader among the students (always making sure everyone is where they should be, when they should be). Her last teacher said she is going to grow up to be a dictator. I believe it.

Nine months ago, we had another baby girl; Faith Christine. We were all curious as to how Megan would react to her. She has done wonderfully. It turns out that whatever is mine Megan thinks should be hers too. So Faith is not just Mommys baby, she is Mommys and Megans baby. I have an area that holds my desk, scrapbook table etc. Its called Moms area. Well megan got a desk for her last birthday. She put it in my area, now its our area...... Any nursery song that says mom, she changes to mom and megan. If the baby starts fussing Megan will ask "Whos making my baby fuss?" And please whatever you do, don't let Megan see you doing something with the baby, she thinks you shouldn't do. You will get the biggest lecture in the world. The lecture will start with "Are you crazy? Why are you doing that to my baby?" and she will go on and on and on.....

I don't want to leave you with the impression that Megans all bad. Shes not. Shes funny, smart and playful. There have been a few days of peace and quiet. Its just that Megan thinks she is the boss. I think I am the boss. With both of us thinking this it just begs the question; Who's in charge here?